


Strip

by Jem13



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Artist Eren Yeager, BDSM, Blindfolds, Bottom Eren Yeager, Child Abuse, Dead Carla Yeager, Eren Yeager Has Heterochromia Iridum, French-Speaking Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, Handcuffs, Homophobia, Homophobic Grisha Yeager, Kenny Ackerman Being an Asshole, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Past Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Pianist Eren Yeager, Prostitution, Slow Build, Smut, Stripper Eren Yeager, Top Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Violinist Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-05 16:30:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11581869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jem13/pseuds/Jem13
Summary: Eren's life hasn't gone as planned. After his mother died, his father started drinking heavily, going out every night, and not returning home until late the next day. To support himself and pay for his drugs, he takes up work at a strip club that seconds as a brothel. He doesn't think he has anything worth living for. That is until he meets Levi, a mysterious man who works at a coffee shop during the day and is the lead singer and guitarist of a band at night.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thanks for choosing to read this fic. I must warn you that there may be a lot of triggering circumstances for some of you, so please read at your own discretion. I hope you enjoy. Please comment below if you find any grammar errors. I'll post new chapters as soon as I finish them, which shouldn't(hopefully) be that long. Thank you. (I do not own Attack on Titan).

 

The glimmering light is stopped by the black curtains hanging from my window, casting a dark shadow across my room. I open my eyes slowly, taking in my surroundings. My room is fairly plain, only containing my bed, dresser, and a desk. A few posters hang on my wall, giving my room the only amount of personality it has had since I was a child. I groan as I sit up, lifting my arms above my head until I hear loud popping noises coming from my back. As I stand up, I listen for any movement down stairs. After a moment, I decide that I am safe and my father is either passed out at a bar, in a ditch, or on the couch. I dress as quietly as I can, putting on a grey v-neck, black hoodie, and dark blue jeans. I put on my deep red converse and leave my room, careful not to slam the door. I head to the bathroom and quietly brush my teeth. I inspect myself in the mirror, taking notice of the fading bruise on my cheekbone, my almost healed split lip, and the deep purple coloring under my eyes. I look like shit. I think back to when my mom would always scold me for getting into fights. I guess I still haven’t learned. My eyes are what stand out the most though. They always attract a lot of attention, which is good for business but not good when I want to avoid talking to people. I stare at myself, gazing into my different colored eyes. I have a bright gold eye on the right, and an ocean green eye on the left. Sighing, I head out of the bathroom and quietly make my way downstairs. I look around my house for my father, silently hoping that I could leave without crossing paths with him.  after deciding that the house is empty, I head out the front door and start walking down the street. I pull a pack of cigarettes and my lighter out of my pocket, lighting one up, and inhaling the deadly smoke, and savoring the taste of the burning tobacco. I put in my headphones and play whatever music pops up first on my shitty, cracked phone. I spend all my money on food and my addiction, and it's not like I use it for anything other than music anyway, so there isn’t any point in saving up to buy a new one. I continue walking until I reach a parking garage, and make my way to the fifth floor. I walk out and see my dealer, Reiner Braun, leaning against the edge smoking. I walk up to him and clear my throat to gain his attention. He turns around and looks me up and down, smirking. “Hello...Eren,” he says with his deep, gruff voice. “How may I be of your assistance?”

 

“Shut it Reiner, you know exactly what I’m here for. Do you have the stuff or not?” I ask, annoyed, looking around to make sure no one could see us. He laughed briefly at my annoyed display of emotion. He pulls out a little clear plastic bag filled with colorful pills, shaking the bag lightly.

 

“Here they are. Do you have the money?” he questions. “Or are you gonna have to pay with… something else?” The tone of his voice shifting from light hearted to seductive in a matter of

seconds. I scoff and pull a wad of cash out of my pocket.

 

“I have the cash dickwad and I highly doubt you boyfriend would approve of my other form of payment,” I sneer, handing him the money and taking the bag of ecstasy. He sighs and then laughs slightly.

 

“I was just teasing, calm the fuck down,” he laughs, which only causes me to be even more pissed off. “I love Bertolt too much to cheat on him anyways.” I sneer at him which only makes him laugh more. “Chill man, you’re getting more worked up than usual. Go home and get high or something, calm yourself down.” He didn’t have to tell me twice. I thanked him and walked away. He’s been my dealer for six months ever since my last one stopped dealing. I’m not sure what happened but he seemed really scared the last time we met. _Oh well, Reiner sells better shit anyway._ I pull out another cig and light it up as I walk home. Mom would kill me if she knew I smoked. She can’t stop me now. I sigh and continue walking, taking in the familiar sights around me. Abandoned houses and run down houses alike line the streets. I live in the most impoverished area in Shiganshina. We used to have a nice house in the modest but nice part of town, but dad and I had to move after mom died because he spent all of our money on alcohol. I finally make it back home. I groan as I walk up the stairs, resenting the fact that I have to go back home. I open the door quietly and slip off my shoes. I hope that I made it home before dad otherwise I’m in for a world of trouble. He doesn’t like it when I leave the house when he’s not there. Something about “the neighbors are gonna rob me.” What a paranoid jackass. The neighbors are too jacked up on meth and heroin to even think of robbing us. I hope so anyway, I mean it’s not that I have much to steal anyway. I stay silent as to hear the noises in the house. I hear footsteps. _Shit, maybe I can sneak into my room and act like I’ve been asleep._ I tread quietly up the stairs, hoping that I don’t make a noise. I open my bedroom door quietly and step inside. Just as I close the door and think I’m in the clear, my door stands open and my poor excuse of a father stumbles in.

 

“You think you’re so sneaky huh?” he slurs, the smell of cheap whiskey and various other alcohols drifting off of him. “I heard you walkin’ up the stairs. You tryin’ to hide from me boy?” He walks up to me and pushes me into the wall roughly, grabbing my throat and holding me there, cutting off my air supply slightly. I shake my head back and forth furiously. “You know I don’t like you leaving the house when I’m not here. You tryna get my stuff stolen?” Again, I shake my head. He doesn’t buy it and slams my head against the wall, causing me to fall to the ground. He pulls his foot back and kicks my stomach hard, knocking the air from my lungs. I learned long ago not to fight back, I ended up in the hospital for a week with four broken ribs, a broken wrist, and a collapsed lung. I lie on the floor as he kicks me over and over again. After one last kick, he gets down in my face and yells, “Don’t disobey me again, boy!” With two final punches to the face, he leaves the house, slamming the front door.

After a while, I stand up and make my way to the bathroom to assess the damage. I have the start a black eye and a split lip. My ribs are heavily bruised, but not broken thankfully. Broken ribs suck. I groan and make my way back to my bedroom. As soon as I get there, I lay back on my bed and pull out my thankfully whole pills. I take one with a sip of water then lay back, waiting for the drugs to kick in. As I wait, I check my phone and see texts from my best friend and my sister. Armin, my best friend, is the smartest and kindest person I know. He’s really oblivious and gullible as well. I’d date him if he was gay, and he wanted too of course. He hasn’t really talked about his sexuality at all. Mikasa, my sister, on the other hand, came out as a lesbian back in high school. She asked me not to tell dad though because he’s extremely homophobic. Mikasa is currently studying abroad in Japan, training to be a doctor. She studied there during high school as an exchange student, and apparently she liked it so much she decided to move there for college. That’s where she met her current girlfriend Annie, who attends the neighboring college, studying to be an engineer.

 

**From Armin:**

**Hey Eren! Krista, Ymir, Marco, Jean, and I are going out later if you want to come with! We won’t have as much fun without you!!**

 

I can’t go out tonight, so I make up an excuse not to.

 

**To Armin:**

**Sorry, can’t. I have work, remember? Maybe next time.**

 

My phone buzzes soon after I hit send.

 

**From Armin:**

**Oh, alright :( you never go out with us anymore. Try to have fun sometimes Eren. Talk to you later.**

 

I hate making him upset, but I have to work tonight. Can’t pay the bills and buy drugs if I don’t work. Speaking of drugs, the E starts to kick in, making me feel overly happy about absolutely nothing. The colors in the room start to become more intense and beautiful. I feel euphoric, as if all of my problems have disappeared in the course of an hour. I put in my headphones and turn on some music, letting the notes and rhythm consume me. After a while, I get really tired and decide to take a nap before work. I vaguely remember setting an alarm for eight pm. I close my eyes and drift into a peaceful, drug hazed sleep.

 

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._ I search for the offending noise, hoping to turn it off as soon as possible. I eventually find my phone and turn off my alarm. _Time for work_ . I make my way to my dresser, searching for something to wear. Under all my shirts, I pull out a dark green shirt that shows off my waistline, tight black shorts, and fishnet tights. I put on the fishnet under the black shorts and look at myself in the mirror. I’m extremely thin, my ribs and hips poking out slightly. Most clients prefer me that way though so I’m okay with it. I look to make sure everything is sitting nicely. _My ass looks great in these shorts._ I smirk and pull on the dark green shirt. I go over to my dresser again and pull out some eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, and lipgloss. Mikasa taught me how to do a smokey eye and winged eyeliner a few times, but my dad walked in and flipped out, so we stopped and waited till he went to sleep. I frown as I continue to think of the memory. I start my makeup by using a blending brush to put a light brown in the crease of my eye and blend it out. Then I do the same thing with a slightly darker brown and don’t blend it out as far. I put a plum color on my eyelids and blend out the harsh lines. Then I finish off the eyeshadow by putting a light shimmery white in the inside corners of my eyes and a black shadow on the outside corners. I carefully make a small wing with the eyeliner to bring out my eyes more. I finish my eyes with a little mascara. After applying a little lip gloss, I put on my matte black heels. I turn around and look at myself in my bedroom mirror. I approve of my look and give myself a little wink, getting into character. I change out of my outfit and put on jeans, a t-shirt, and my converse. I put my “uniform” in a backpack so Armin, who drives me to work, doesn’t know what I actually do. I know my father isn’t home so I don’t bother hiding or sneaking out. I walk out the front door and close it with a bang. I check my phone again and see a message.

 

**From Armin:**

**Hi Eren! I’m almost to your house!**

 

I pull out a cig and light it up as I wait. Not five minutes later does he finally arrive. He stops in front of me. I put my cigarette out with my foot and climb into his car. He grimaces and comments on the smell of burning tobacco and various other chemicals that are attacking the inside of his car. I apologize briefly and stare out the window. I watch the buildings pass by as we sit in silence. Armin doesn’t know where I actually work, so I have him drop me off at the mall a few blocks from the club. He glances over and looks at my makeup, knowing that if he asked he wouldn't get an answer. I climb out of his car, thanking him for the ride. “No problem, Eren. Call me when you’re ready to be picked up. I still think it’s crazy that your boss makes you work at night. Who buys coffee at night, besides college students anyway,” Armin babbles. I chuckle lightly at his outburst.

 

“I don’t know Armin. My boss seems to think there are a lot of people. Can’t help it though, I need the job. See you later, Armin.” I wave to him as he drives away, making sure he’s out of sight before I turn around and walk in the opposite direction. I pass by an art supply store on my way to work and decide to get some new charcoal pencils and a kneadable eraser. The price comes out to about forty-five dollars, so I hand the man behind the counter a fifty dollar bill after search through the various bills in my wallet. He eyes me suspiciously, probably wondering how a person as scraggly has so much cash. Ignore him and walk out of the store, allowing him to keep the change. I shove my new pencils and eraser in my bag and continue to walk towards the club.

 

I arrive at the club a few minutes past nine, and make my way to my dressing room in the back. I open the door and look around at the familiar room. A bed sits against the back wall, adorned with silky black and red sheets. I walk over to my vanity and check my makeup. Deeming it still okay, I take out the clothes in my backpack and put them on again. I look myself over in the mirror and nod.  It’s almost showtime.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. The third will be up faster. 
> 
> (my extremely empty) Tumblr: vaara1  
> Feel free to message me
> 
> Comments are appreciated.
> 
> The song is Obvious Heart by Finger Eleven

Before I leave my dressing room, I pull out a bottle of foundation and some concealer. I cover up my black eye and all the bruises on my body. Nobody wants damaged goods. I breathe and then walk out of my dressing room.

* * *

 

I’m standing behind the curtain that leads to the main stage. I was nervous and shaking my first time performing, but now, after years of it, I’m completely still and almost excited. The feeling of the audiences eyes on me, devouring me, is almost euphoric. The stage manager for tonight, Hitch, walks up to me and notifies me that my set will start in five minutes.

  
Five minutes later, Hitch passes me and goes onto the stage. She starts announcing my act to the audience: “Ladies, gentlemen, and any others who have decided to join us tonight, please give a warm welcome to Rogue!” The crowd starts clapping and I take that as my cue to walk on the stage. I put on a smirk and sway my hips as I walk on stage towards the pole in the middle, taking in the whistles and cat calls from my viewers and potential clients. I walk up to the pole, bringing my hands over my head grabbing the pole, facing the audience.

 

The music starts with the rhythmic strumming of a bass guitar. I walk towards the audience in time with the beat, swaying my hips. I get down on my knees and roll my body as the words start.

 

_The obvious heart has come to collect_

_Cause it tore apart like a tortured insect_

_The obvious heart waits here to heal_

_And balances out a subtle reveal_

 

I grab the hem of my shirt and pull it up a little bit, teasing the audience. I let go and wiggle my finger at them. I stand up and walk back to the pole.

 

_Cause there's a remedy close_

_In a familiar dose_

_This bitter pill to swallow_

 

I grab the pole and walk around it once. I spin again, but this time I wrap both of my legs around the pole and climb up the pole. Once high enough, I wrap my legs around the pole and lean back so that I’m upside down and facing the crowd. I role my body sensually.

 

_Is lost in the bottle tonight_

_You're empty it's alright_

 

I get down from the pol and walk down to the audience. I scan for someone who might want to buy my time later.

 

_And full of yourself_

_No need to explain_

_To anyone else_

 

I see a man sitting near the stage who looks like he wants to grab me and drag me to the back in the middle of my set. I smirk and walk up to him, straddling his hips.

 

_Broken in time_

_Taken what's left_

_No need to deny_

_The cause or effect_

 

He smirks and leans back, letting me get to work. I roll my hips and grind against him.

 

_Cause there's a remedy close_

_In a familiar dose_

_Now you can find out who knows_

_Soaking in truth that she says_

_In taking chances_

 

“Find me after the show,” I whisper into his ear. He nods and winks at me as I climb off his lap.

 

_This heart is not a broken one_

_But where have all the colors gone_

_It's still among the lucky ones_

_This heart is not a broken one_

_But where have all the colors gone_

_You're still among the lucky ones_

_And burning longer than the sun_

 

I walk back onto the stage and lie on my back. I run my hands down my sides and chest as I roll my body. I see the man from earlier licking his lips at my display.

 

_Cause there's a remedy close_

_In a familiar dose_

_Now you can find out who knows_

_Soaking in truth that she says_

_In taking chances_

 

I sit up on my knees and then let them slide apart. I continue to rub my hands along my body. I grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it off. The crowd whistles and cheers. I’m breathing heavily, my chest rising and falling rapidly. As the music ends, I drop my head and look at the floor.

 

After a few seconds, the lights go off. The crowd cheers and claps for me. I stand up, grab my shirt, and leave the stage.

 

* * *

 

I look myself over in the mirror, nodding in approval. I put on one of my outfits from my closet here. I learned to after my father tore apart my room and found all of my “uniforms.” I still have scars from that night. I have on the same black fishnets but white shorts instead. Im also wearing a black fishnet shirt and the same shoes from earlier as well. I check my makeup, touching it up where I sweat some of it off.

 

I leave my dressing room and head out into the main floor. I search for the man from earlier, but can’t find him in the crowd. I decide to wait by the bar and grab a drink. “Hey, Nifa. Can I get a shot of vodka?” She nods and pours my shot. I grab it from her and down the liquid quickly, savoring the burn as it goes down my throat.

 

After a while, the man from earlier walks up. He walks up beside me and flags down Nifa, asking her to get two shots of whiskey. He hands me one and nods his head as we both take our shots.

 

He leans in close and whispers: “What do you say we go to the back? I have a ton of cash on me and I promise you won’t be disappointed.” He smirks as I nod. I grab his hand and lead him to my dressing room.  I’m going to enjoy this.

 

As soon as we get to the room, he pushes me down on the bed. I land on the mattress with a thud. I suddenly remember something important. I place my hand on his chest, preventing him from continuing. “You’re clean right?” He looks almost offended, but then he starts chuckling.

 

“Yeah, I’m clean. I got tested two weeks ago.” I nod and reach over to the table next to the bed, pulling out a condom and lube.

 

“Good. We are still using this though. That’s one of my only rules,” I respond. I take my hand off his chest and he continues. He leans down and kisses me. I’m normally against kissing, but I’m too horny to care. I reach down and palm him through his pants. He groans into the kiss. He stops kissing me only long enough to get my shirt off. His bright blue eyes drag along my body, talking in my slim figure, his eyes filled with lust. I smirk and unzip his pants. He snaps out of his trance-like state and leans down to continue kissing me. I pull his cock out of his pants and stroke him slowly. He moans into the kiss, then pulls away panting. When I suddenly stop, he groans loudly in protest. I chuckle and pull away from the kiss. He stands up and quickly takes the rest of his clothes off. I stare at his naked figure, looking his muscled body up and down. His blonde hair is messed up and hanging in his face. I continue to stare at his body as he moves towards me and strips me down. He discards my shorts, fishnets, and stilettos quickly.

 

“Fuck,” he whispers and practically drools at my body. I reach down and start stroking my hard cock. He moans, enjoying my display, and starts to walk towards me. I moan wantonly and close my eyes, stroking myself faster. I feel the bed dip as the man gets on. All of a sudden, I feel a hand grabbing my wrist, stopping its movements. I whine as I take my hand off my aching cock, but am cut off by the feeling of a tongue licking a stripe up my shaft. I shudder and moan loudly. I open my eyes and look down at the man. His eyes meet mine. They look feral. He doesn’t break eye contact as he opens his mouth and takes in the head of my cock. I gasp and hold back the urge to buck my hips up into his mouth. I bring my hands down to his hair, grasping at it as he hollows his cheeks and pulls off my cock with a lewd pop. He comes back up and starts kissing me again. He starts feeling around for something and I’m not sure what until I hear the sound of a cap opening. He pulls away for just a second while he spreads the lube over his fingers. He closes the bottle and puts it to the side. “Spread your legs,” he commands. I shudder and do as he told me. He leans back down and brings his mouth to my neck. He bites and licks as he circles my entrance with his index finger. I moan as he pushes his finger in and starts pumping it. He bring his mouth back up to mine and bites his lip as he adds another finger. All of a sudden, I see white. I throw my head back and moan loudly as he hits my prostate. He continues to massage it, and I start to feel the telltale tightening in my stomach, so I push of his shoulder to let him know and make him stop. He stops rubbing my abused prostate and adds a third finger, but I stop him and tell him just to get on with it already. He chuckles and pulls his fingers out. He reaches out and grabs the condom and the lube again. He starts to open the condom with his teeth but I stop him before he can.

 

“Uh uh. Use your hands. Using your teeth is dangerous,” I warn. He hold his hands up in surrender and opens the condom with his hands. I watch as he rolls the condom onto his aching cock. I stroke myself as he opens the lube and puts some over the condom. I take my hand away and pull him toward me, wrapping my legs around him as he guides his dick to my entrance. I moan as he pushes the tip in. He continues to push in slowly, turning me into a panting mess beneath him. When he’s all the way in, he pauses. After a second, I nod, telling him it’s okay to move. He pulls out almost all the way then slams back in with one quick thrust. He shudders and moans as I gasp and throw my head back.

 

“Fuck you’re tight,” he whispers as he starts thrusting in and out of me slowly. I’m reduced to a mewling, panting mess. I tell him to go faster, and he complies. After a minute, he pulls out and a mewl at the sudden feeling of emptiness. That feeling isn’t long lasting because he flips me over onto my stomach, grabs my hips, and pulls them up. When my ass is in the air, he grabs it and kneads the flesh. He grabs my hips so hard that it will probably leaves bruises; he thrusts back into me and starts moving at a fast and relentless pace. I’m moaning so loud I’m sure people in the next room over can hear me. All of a sudden, I see white again. I nearly scream as he starts pounding into my prostate over and over. He grunts and moans as the sweat beads at his forehead. I start to feel the tightening in my stomach again. I grab my dripping cock and start pumping it in time with his thrusts, bringing me closer to my orgasm. I shake, pant, and nearly scream as my vision goes white and I cum onto the bed. The man keeps thrusting into me, making me through my orgasm. He shudders and moans as he cums into the condom. After a few seconds, he pulls out, ties the condom, and throws it away. I’m still shaking on the bed, still feeling the aftereffects of my intense orgasm. The man walks over to his pants, grabs his wallet and sets the money he owes me on the bedside table. I sit up, count it and nod, approving of the amount he gave me. I watch as he puts on his clothes. I get up and do the same, but putting on my normal clothes instead of my work clothes. The man looks at me weird, but I shake it off.

 

“I only have to take one client a night, as long as they pay enough,” I explain. He nods and then goes in to kiss me. I let it happen only because it would be awkward to stop it, and I don’t want him asking for his money back.

 

“I might come back for you…Rogue,” he says quietly, his confidence shining through. I hood my eyes and nod at him. I wouldn’t be upset if he did. He’s the best fuck I’ve had in awhile. Most clients don’t even care about my pleasure, just their own, so I go home most of the time unfulfilled.

 

He opens the door and closes it quietly. I wait a minute before walking over to look myself over in the mirror. I see that I sweat most of my face makeup off, but some still remains. I remove the rest of my makeup so that my father doesn’t see and so I don’t look like a complete mess in front of people, especially Armin. I lift up my shirt and see that I have new fingerprint bruises all along my hips. The larger bruises from my father are nearly fully showing. The man definitely saw them, but didn’t let it show. I sigh and walk over to the bed. I’m too tired to change the sheets, so I lay down and try to avoid the wet spot on the right side of the bed. I feel conscious fading quickly, and I soon fall into a peaceful sleep.

 

* * *

 

I’m waiting outside in the cold for Armin when I get a text.

 

**From Armin:**

**Hey, Eren. I can’t pick you up today. Jean got drunk off his ass and I have to watch him because no one else is sober enough to do it. Can you find another ride?**

 

Fucking great. It’s two in the morning and I don’t have a ride. I tell him that I have a ride back even though I don’t. I don’t want to seem needy or to ruin his night out. I take out my phone and put on some music. I pull my thin black hoodie closer to me, making an attempt to conserve my body heat. Fucking mother nature making it hot as fuck during the day but the temperature of the fucking arctic circle during the night.  I can see my breath in the air. I walk towards my house, trying to hide my new limp as best as possible. The street lamps light up the desolate road only enough for me to make out where I’m walking. A single car drives by, the wind from it making me even colder. I stop walking and hunch over, shivering more than I was a minute ago. I pull my hood up and start walking again. I eventually reach the mall. I can feel my heart beating and my body shaking from the cold. I realize I need to find somewhere warm quick. There’s a little coffee shop (the one that Armin thinks I work at) near the mall that stays open late, so I walk there and head inside.

 

As soon as I walk in, I’m overcome by the smell of coffee. I look around and see the barista looking at me weirdly. I don’t blame him. My black eye isn’t covered and my lip is split. My hair's a mess and I’m not wearing adequate clothing for the weather. He probably thinks I’m homeless. I sigh and walk up to the counter and sit down on one of the stools. I ask the barista for a white mocha with whipped cream. I pull out my phone and play a game as I wait for my coffee.

 

After a few minutes, the barista sets my drink in front of me. I hand him a twenty and tell him to keep the change. He nods walks into the back. I hear a muffled talking in the back. I expect the same barista to come back out, but he doesn’t. Instead, and different person walks out. My breath catches in my throat. He has short black hair that’s parted in the middle and styled with an undercut. His striking silvery blue eyes are lined with black eyeliner. His arms are covered in tattoos. One arm is covered in cherryblossoms, the other in nightshade. Shiny black paint coats his nails. His face is decorated with various piercings. His eyebrow and septum are pierced. He has two black metal rings on either side of his bottom lip. He looks at me and catches me staring. “Tch. Got a problem, brat?” he asked, clearly annoyed.

 

“Uh... no, sorry,” I stutter, blushing. I look away quickly, suddenly finding interest in the counter top. I feel my cheeks burning. I go to take another sip of my coffee when I accidently make eye contact with the man again.

 

“If you keep staring at me, I’m gonna have to charge you,” he says, obviously annoyed. I jump slightly and look away. “So what’s your story kid? Why are you here in the middle of the night?” He looks at me accusingly.

 

“Um...I, uh…” I stutter.

 

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but if you’re going to, spit it out.”

 

“I work the night shift at my job and my ride home cancelled. I started to walk home but it got too cold so I came in here to warm up,” I reply shyly. I can feel my face warming up even more, which I didn’t know was even possible. He nods understandingly. I look at his name tag. Levi. It’s...fitting.

 

“What’s your name, kid?” he questions.

 

“Eren. My name is Eren.”

 

“Well, Eren, my shift ends in five minutes. I’ll drive you home.” he decides. I stiffen and attempt to reply, but it comes out as nothing more than a stutter. “Tch, just wait here.” I simply nod.

 

A few minutes later, Levi walks out of the back with his keys in hand. “Let’s go,” he says. I get up and follow the man outside.


	3. Revolutionary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Sorry it's taken so long for an update. I've been really busy with school and I haven't had time. (Also in this story, the legal drinking age is eighteen. Just clearing that up incase there was any confusion). The only thing I can really say about this chapter is that i highly recommend that you listen to Chopin's Etude Op.10 No.12. I listened to it while writing the piano scene (spoilers oops). I feel like it really brings it to life. I also apologize for the length. Chapter four will be longer. Thank you.

As I walk outside, a gust of wind blows by, making me shiver again. “How far away is your car?” Levi hold up his keys and presses the unlock button, making the lights of his car turn on, and simultaneously answering my question. When we get to his car, he motions for me to wait. He pulls a bottle out of his pocket, and motions for me to hold my hands out. I can tell I look really confused when he shows me the bottle.

 

“It’s hand sanitizer, dipshit. You aren’t touching my car without putting some on first,” he explains, obviously annoyed. I hold out my hands and he pours some on. I rub it in as he watches to make sure I’m adequately clean. I can tell I still look confused when he rolls his eye. “Wipe that look off your face. You look constipated.” I let my face fall and try not to laugh at his awful humor. He rolls his eyes and gets in the driver’s side. He motions for me to get in the car. 

 

His car has smooth, black leather seats with dark grey detailing. It looks like it costs a lot, way too much for a barista’s salary. I keep to myself though, knowing personally that people have different ways of making a living. “Your car is… good,” I mutter, mentally face palming at my inability to think of better adjectives. He snorts.

 

“Just good? Damn kid you’re hard to impress.” His mouth turns up into an almost invisible smirk. 

 

“No, sorry...uh...It’s really nice and…. Clean.” Eren what the fuck. Learn how to speak dammit. Stop getting flustered. I put my hand over my face and groan at my own incompetence. I’m such a cringy person. Why am I getting so flustered? Levi chuckles softly. I feel my face get warm.

 

“Damn right it’s clean. What’s the point in investing in something nice if you’re just going to cover it in trash. Seems redundant.” He explains passionately. I catch myself staring at him again. I look away quickly, hoping he didn't catch me. 

“Where do you live, brat?” 

 

“I live on Rose Street. You can just drop me off on the corner,” I reply, still wary because I’m in the car with an absolute stranger. I reach into my bag and find my house key. I hold it like I would hold a knife, ready if he tries anything. He eyes me suspiciously, but then nods understandingly. We fall into and uncomfortable silence, and I watch as the trees speed by. 

 

“You know, you’re way too trusting. How do you know I’m not some crazed murderer?” Levi’s attempt to make conversation works. I chuckle a little.

 

“Well guessing by that fact that you just asked me that, I’m guessing you aren’t. But I didn’t originally. I’ve been told I’m too trusting at first,” I reply. His eyebrows furrow, then he starts talking. 

 

“Trusting people isn’t a bad thing, but you shouldn’t trust people right away. Not everyone is a good person.” He doesn’t say anything after that, allowing me to think over what he said. We fall into silence again, albeit a slightly tense one. 

 

Eventually, we get to Rose street. He stops as soon as we turn onto it, allowing me to get out of the car. Before I can fully get out, he grabs my arm. “Be careful, brat. Don’t think for one second that any person offering you a ride home is just being kind.” He gets a dark look in his eyes. I can tell that he’s inspecting my obvious black eye and split lip. He looks like he wants to say something else, but doesn’t. Instead, Levi allows me to get out of the car. As soon as my door closes, he is speeding away. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. 

 

I walk the short distance down the road to my house. Theres a package on the porch addressed to me. I silently wonder what it is, but wait to open it. I shove it in my backpack so that my father doesn’t see it. It’s not likely that he’s home, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. He doesn't like when I get mail. I don’t know why. Maybe because it mean someone has actually thought of me, and that makes me seem more real. I scoff at the thought. 

 

I make my way upstairs, tiptoeing quietly. I quickly change out of my clothes and put on a pair of baggy grey sweatpants. They have a blue stain on them from when I was painting and spilled my brush cleaning water on myself. 

 

I look at my phone, checking the time. Its three in the morning, officially making it Sunday. “I have school tomorrow.” I whisper to no one but myself. Im nineteen, but I was held back in kindergarten. Who the fuck gets held back in kindergarten? My mom told me once that it was because I wouldn't speak. She didn’t know why, but at home I wouldn’t stop talking. I’ve always been a weird kid.

 

I walked downstairs, and made sure that my father wasn’t home. As soon as I felt safe, I made my way to the basement door. I turn on the light and walk downstairs, feeling the air drop temperature almost instantly. I feel goosebumps forming on my skin. The rough surface of the stairs scraps my feet as I walk down them. 

 

The basement is dark and musty, but there’s one good thing about it. In the far back sits a black grand piano. I walk over and run my hand over the top, wiping any dust off of it. The piano was my mothers, before she died anyway. Now it sits in the basement. I open the top and sit down on the bench. I place my fingers on the keys and play the first thing that comes to me. 

 

My fingers fly across the keys quickly. Chopin Etude Op.10 No.12 in C Minor bursts out of the piano. A song full of anger fills the air. I feel my eyes start to water. I pour my soul into the song, letting the world see my anger and hatred. It starts to consume me. I can hear myself start to growl as the piano keys clank against the key bed loudly. I start sobbing in frustration, anger, and fear. Fear for what may come in the future. Will I always be this person? Will I always be the weak little boy who people only want so they can feel pleasure for a night? I don’t want that. I want to live. I want to be happy. 

 

But I can’t.

 

I don’t deserve it.

 

I never will.

 

* * *

 

I find myself staring at the keys. Taking in their shape, size, remembering the feeling of the ivory keys. Tears and sweat cover them now, slipping between them. I look up towards the ceiling and close my eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun from the tiny window next to the piano, and the feeling of my cold tears pouring down my face. I let out a quiet sob.

 

After a while, I stand up and close the piano. I stare at it for a little while longer, wishing I could play forever. 

 

I make my way back to my room and let myself fall on my bed. I fall asleep almost instantly. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: rape scene (sorry). I apologize for the wait. School has started for me recently and I'm in 3 AP classes that are really kicking my ass.

Levi’s POV

I’m reading a book and nursing a cup of tea when my stupid co-worker stumbles in and announces that he’s going on break, signaling that mine is up.

 

“There’s a customer out there so you better hurry,” he warns me. I glare at him harshly.

 

“I know, dipshit. I’m not a half-brain like you,” I sneer. I get up and put my book in my locker. I grab my tea and head out into the shop. I see a brown haired kid in ratty clothes drinking a cup of coffee. I can’t see his face behind his hair. I ignore him and set my cup of tea down behind the counter, out of his view. I look back up to see him staring at me and looking me over. His face is covered in bruises and cuts. He looks awful. But his eyes stand out, the right one gold and the left one a bluish green color. He’s beautiful. Focus. Why are you thinking like this? He’s probably just some dirty street rat that barely managed to scrape up enough money to buy a drink. He examines my tattoos and piercings intently. I start to get annoyed at his staring. “Tch. Got a problem, brat?” I ask the boy.

 

“Uh... no, sorry,” he stutters and looks back down at his drink. I take a sip of my tea and put the cup down. I look back up and see him staring again. 

 

“If you keep staring at me, I’m gonna have to charge you,” I say, showing my annoyance. “So what’s your story kid? Why are you here in the middle of the night?” 

“Um...I, uh…” he stutters. I start to get annoyed. 

 

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but if you’re going to, spit it out.” I let my slight frustration shine through. He sighs and tells me about how he just got out of work and his ride cancelled. I wonder where he works that makes him work so late in the night, but I don’t ask. “Whats your name, kid?” I ask him. 

 

“Eren. My name is Eren.” Eren… It suits him. I suddenly make a decision that I start to regret as soon as I finish. I offer the strange boy a ride home. He stutters. How annoying.

“Tch, just wait here.” He nods. I walk into the back and grab my keys. I sit down on at the table and put my head in my hands. _Why did I do that? He’s just some dirty kid who probably gets into fights all the time. Damn it._ I sigh and stand up, making my way back into the storefront. “Let’s go,” I tell him, and we make our way out the door. 

 

After while, we reach his street. The whole ride was filled with awkward silences and tension. When he opens the door and moves to get out, I grab his arm and look at him. “Be careful, brat. Don’t think for one second that any person offering you a ride home is just being kind,” I look at his face, inspecting his bruises and cuts. I wan’t to ask him how he got them, but decide not to. I let go of his arm and allow him to leave the car. As soon as he closes the door, I drive away. _I need a drink._

I drive to the closest bar thats open. There’s only a few people in the bar. The bartender glances at me, and motion for me to take a seat at the bar.He asks me what I want to drink, so I ask for a glass of whiskey. 

Once he places my drink in front of me, I take a sip. “So what is a handsome guy like you doing at a bar this late at night?” His voice drops and takes on a flirtatious tone. 

“Well thats a long story, do you have time?” I ask, my voice dropping.

“I’ve got all night, baby.”

* * *

I push the man against the wall, and attach my mouth to his neck, kissing and biting. He moans loudly, and I chuckle. I pull away and lean up to kiss him, which he greedily accepts. I reach down and palm him through his pants, pulling a moan from his throat. He reaches down and undoes my pants, never disconnecting from my mouth. He goes to touch me, but I stop him. “Where’s the bed?” I pant gruffly. I back up and he all but runs to his bedroom. I walk slowly, and when I reach his room, he’s already completely naked. He looks at me and smirks. _This is gonna be fun._

* * *

 

**Eren POV**

A few weeks after meeting Levi, I’m walking away from the the school building when I hear faint snickers and taunts pointed my way. I leave school early and just my luck, there’s a group of three boys outside as well. _Of course, it makes perfect sense to bully the guy that already looks like his life is a wreak. I mean, my dad already beats the shit out of me almost daily, and then I have to go get fucked by strangers for money just to support myself._ The absurdity makes me chuckle. The guys who were laughing stop and walk up to me, looking angry. 

“You laughing at us, faggot?” the guy in the front asks, grabbing my collar and pulling me towards his face, breathing heavily. His breath smells. _How does he even have friends with breath like that?_ I shake my head. I’m called faggot often, but no one knows that it’s actually true. I’ve been bullied the whole way through school, but couldn’t bother to pay attention to it, that is, until mom died. “You know, my dad says he saw you dancin’ the other night, touching yourself, and moaning for a bunch of guys while on stage. Said you liked it, too. So not only are you a dirty piece of shit, you’re a faggot _and_ a whore,” he growls at me. _Fuck, now I’ll get even more shit at school than I normally do now that everyone will know._ I keep my blank gaze at the ground, not wanting to provoke him. I already have enough bruises. I hate that I've submitted so easily, but I have no choice. “So, fag, why don’t you help me out?” I can hear the smirk in his voice, and I let my eyes find him, confused. When I see his face though, my questions are answered. His teeth are bared in a wide and dangerous smile, while his eyes bore into mine. I feel the blood rush out of my face as he reaches son and starts unzipping his jeans. 

“You know, what you’re about to do is super gay right?” I say, trying to scare him off, but he just gets angrier.

“Shut the fuck up, whore.” He pulls out his dick, which I can see is already hard. He pushes me to my knees and grabs my hair, forcing my head towards his erection. When I keep my mouth firmly shut, he reaches down and plugs my nose with his fingers while his friends run around and pin my arms behind me, stopping me from defending myself. 

I hold my breath for a while, but eventually have to take a breath, as soon as I open my mouth, the boy shoves his dick inside my mouth. I gag at the sudden intrusion, and he moans. He starts fucking my mouth quickly, moaning and gasping heavily. I canMy jaw starts to get tired, so I let it go slack. I start to taste his pre-cum as it hits my tongue. “Are you enjoying this, slut? I bet you are. Fuckin’ pussy,” he pants. I am completely soft and my throat is starting to go sore. 

Tears start running down my face, and I try to remove myself from the situation by thinking of anything else. Nothing comes up, so I just think of grey. It’s such a boring color, but I find it beautiful. Grey reminds me of a summer storm and the rain. The way the air smells afterwards is almost sweet. I love the grey clouds and the lighting and the crash of the thunder. I love the feeling of the rain pouring down on my face. It makes me feel free. 

I’m suddenly ripped out of my peaceful thoughts when I feel something hot in my throat. I gag at the disgusting flavor. The boy pulls out of my mouth and holds my jaw closed. “Swallow.” I look up and see that he’s covered in sweat and he’s panting. I look to his eyes. He looks like a wild animal. I can already tell that attempting to spit will just anger him more, so I swallow. The hot, salty liquid runs down my throat. I let out a sob. The group just laughs. The next moment, I’m on the ground while they kick and hit me. I am reduced to a humiliated, sobbing mess at this point. 

Eventually, they get bored and stop. I see a dollar bill fall on the ground in front of me. I hear them laughing as they walk away. One of the groupies turns around at spits at me. I lay there for a minute and wait till they are gone. I start sobbing and try to be as quiet as I can. 

I lay there crying for a while before I hear footsteps coming towards me. I flinch and try to move away, using my legs to move myself backwards until my back hits two walls at once. I’ve backed myself into a corner. 

“Please, please don’t hurt me. Please, please, please,” I beg. I pull my legs to my chest and put my head in-between with my hands on top. The person stops in front of me, and I see their black leather combat boots. The person squats down and I start mumbling about not wanting to get hurt. The cement is dark grey with my tears. This time, grey isn’t freedom, it’s the feeling of being trapped. The person puts a hand on my arm, and I flinch violently and start sobbing harder. They pull their hand away quickly. They start talking.

“Please stop crying, I’m not gonna hurt you I promise. Please let me help you…” he says in a familiar voice. My sobbing falters for a second or two when I hear it. _Surely he isn’t here? Why would he be here?_ I look up and see the same black undercut and steel blue eyes that I saw last night. 

“Levi?” I question as my voice breaks. I stare at him with red, puffy eyes. “Why are you here? He shakes his head and holds his hand out to me. 

“Come with me. Let me help you,” he mumbles. I hesitate, but then take his hand.He leads me to his car, and starts to drive away. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay... I'm really sorry for the wait... I'm in three AP classes that have been kicking my ass lately... Hopefully thats a good enough excuse.   
> I saw another writer on here (I forgot who)use a website called polyvore to help readers visualize outfits, so I thought I'd try it.  
> Thank you for putting up with me.   
> Here's to chapter five.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Outfit: https://www.polyvore.com/outfit_chapter/set?id=229593583

**Eren POV**

 

Levi is treating me as though I might shatter like glass at any second. Normally, I would laugh at how he was acting, but I can’t find the energy. Instead, I keep my gaze at the floor of the car. I can tell he’s very uncomfortable and doesn’t know how to ask what happened. 

 

“Just drop me off at home,” I say, surprising him and myself. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.” I get like this even after work if my clients are cruel enough that night. Levi isn’t accepting what my answer though.

 

“I’m not taking you home right now. I’m taking you to my place. Just to make sure you’re alright,” he replies carefully. I simply nod. I honestly would rather some home and hide in my room for the next millennia, but I can tell that I won’t be able to change his mind. I take to staring out of the window, and eventually feel myself drift off. 

* * *

When I wake up again, I find myself inside of a very fancy looking house on a black leather couch. I sit up and look around. The walls are white with a grey stone feature wall. On the feature wall hangs an eight-five inch flat screen tv. I stare in awe. I don’t realize I’m alone until I remember what happened.

 

Tears suddenly rush to my eyes and a sob from my throat. I get up and search for what I assume to be the front door. As soon as I manage to open it, Levi stumbles out in a towel. I freeze instantly, letting my head snap to meet his gaze.

 

“Eren?” he questions, confused. “What are you doing? I heard a ton of banging” I let my gaze fall to the floor. _I barely know this guy…Why am I here? Why didn’t he justdump me at home? Home…Fuck. My dad’s gonna kill me…Maybe it isn’t as late as it seems?_

 

“I need to go home…What time is it?” I reply. He shrugs and walks into the kitchen. I don’t follow, preferring to keep my place net to the door. After a second, Levi walks back over to me.

 

“It’s seven thirty. Why?” I can almost feel my heart pounding out of my chest. 

 

“I need to get home now.” I stutter. “I have work tonight. Where am I?”

 

“You’re at my place. I can take you home and then to work if you’d like,” He replies, suspicious, but not outright asking. I nod carefully. _Fuck this is awkward.“_ Okay… just let me get dressed first.” He walks back down the hallway, towards what I assume to be either his bedroom or the bathroom. 

 

As soon as he is out of sight, I dash out the door. I find myself in ashort hallway that leads to an elevator and a set of stairs. I run to the elevator and push the button. When the elevator finally arrives, I sigh with relief and hurry inside. I push the button that has a number one and a star on it. As the doors start closing, I see Levi open the door, searching for me. We make eye contact right before the doors close. “I’m sorry…” I say. 

 

I see my reflection as the doors close. I look a mess. My hair is strewn everywhere, my lips are swollen and I’m covered in bruises. My clothes are wrinkled and messy. My eyes are dull, no longer holding the glimmer that they normally do. _My boss is gonna kill me. The bruises from my dad have just gone away. I’m not getting paid as much tonight._ I sigh loudly, waiting for the elevator to reach the bottom. _Why the fuck are there fifty floors? Fucking rich people and their fancy ass penthouses._

 

Eventually I reach the bottom floor. The doors open and I step out. I’m in a gigantic room with silver and gold accents everywhere. _How the fuck does a barista who works the graveyard shift afford this?_ The staff look at me as if I’m some street rat that wandered in, glaring and sneering at me. A large man in a security guard uniform walks up to me. “Get out. You don’t belong here. If you don’t leave, I’ll have to escort you out and possibly call the police,” He practically growls, glaring at me like I’m a speck of dirt on his designer shoes. I nod.

 

“Don’t worry. I was just leaving,” I mumble, making my way towards the doors. When I walk outside, I immediately want to climb into a deep dark whole and stay there. I’m in the richest part of the city. Trost. “What the fuck…” I say, annoyed, earning me a glare from a very well dressed mother and her little son who looks miserable in his stiff designer clothes. 

 

Getting a cab would be too expensive so I decide to take the underground. I walk around for a while, ignoring the glares with the best of my ability, before reaching the stairs leading to the railway. _Even the undergrounds are fancier._ I check my pocket and am relieved to find my wallet still there. I don’t have enough time to run home first, so I get on the train that leads to where I work. 

 

All the seats are taken, so I stand, holding onto one of the poles. I continue to ignore the stares as I think about what routine I’m going to do at work. _I should probably do something new. Slow this time._ I sigh and look at the advertisements that line the car. Fashion, something about the ballet, and then theres one that captures my attention. It’s for a band who is going on tour later. They’re from Trost… _The Scouts? I’ve heard of them, but I haven’t heard their music._

* * *

When the train reaches my stop, I rush out the door and start sprinting. I only have ten minutes to get to work. _I should be able to make it there in five minutes if I hurry…Makeup and wardrobe might take a little longer though. My boss is going to kill me._

 

When I finally run through the back door, Hitch rushes towards me with a murderous look in her eyes. “Eren?! Where the fuck have you been?! You’re set is in five minutes! Hurry up and get ready!” She whispers angrily at me. I just nod and sprint towards my dressing room. I quickly put on my makeup and cover up the bruises. I walk over to my closet and pull out a fishnet shirt, some dark red shorts, and some dark red velvet heels. I pull everything on quickly and rush out of my room. 

 

When I get backstage, Hitch sighs with relief. “Finally, you were supposed to go one ten minutes ago. People are getting impatient. Are you using the pole?”

 

“I guess I have to make it a good show them, and yeah, mostly floor work though” I reply. “Make sure to make an announcement that anyone who wants to buy me gets money off. Say a customer got a little rough with me, but that I can take it.” She simply nods. She walks out and announces my arrival, making sure to say everything I mentioned, letting her voice drop when saying I can take being a little rough.The crowd cheers. I roll my eyes. Hitch walks backstage again, and my music starts. I walk out on stage.

* * *

I’m laying on my back with my legs bent and spread open, propping myself up on an elbow with the other hand on top of my dick over my shorts. My head is thrown back. I look over the crowd, panting and covered in sweat. I hear the whistles and cheers from the audience. I stand up and curtsy, making sure to smirk. I head back toward the curtains, and Hitch pulls them open, allowing me to exit the stage. “Good show Eren,” she says. “You have a bunch of requests already. How many are you gonna take?” I think over my answer. _I have to pay the bills, and I didn’t get paid as much last week…_

 

“Four…” I respond thoughtfully. Hitch stares at me like I’m joking. I shake my head and walk away, making a b-line for the bar. I get a shot of tequila. I’m gonna need it. After I take my shot, I feel hands on my waist and warm breath on my neck.

 

“How would you like to come with me, baby?” The man asks with his deep, gruff voice. I nod, adding a smirk to make it seem like I’m interested. I take his hand and lead him to my room. I pass Hitch on the way and tell her to wait thirty minutes between each person before sending in the next one. She nods. _Tonight is gonna be rough._

* * *

After my third customer leaves, I lay on the bed for a minute and try not to cry. This guy was really rough, and wouldn’t even let me cum. He had me bound to the bed on my stomach by both wrists and ankles, with a blindfold, gag, and cock ring to top it all off. I’m definitely gonna have dark bruises on my hips later. At least the last two people lat me cum, even if the second one was a chick. I’m really not looking forward to the last one. _Oh well, I have to deal with it._

 

I get up and fix my hair and makeup, changing the sheets, and putting on a new outfit. I sit on the bed and stare at the door until the next person comes in. When they do, I am completely shocked, unable to speak or do anything, the only word I am able to speak:

 

“Levi?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wait...again. I'm really not proud of the end of this chapter, but it's the only way I could find to lead it into what I want to do with the rest of the story. Have fun with this one. There is drug use and smut in this chapter btw. Have fun.

** Eren POV **

 

I suddenly come to my senses, and run over to my closet to grab a robe. “Why are you here? You really shouldn’t be here,” I start spouting out words and try to push him out of the room. 

 

“Eren.”

 

“You need to leave. You shouldn’t have come here”

 

“Eren.” 

 

“We keep running into each other at really bad times, mostly for me. I would honestly understand if you never want to see me again. Honestly, who want to be friends with a prostit—” Levi cuts me off by putting his hand over my mouth. He gives me a look that makes me stop moving. 

 

“Are you gonna let me talk now, brat?” He asks. I nod once, and he takes his hands off me. “Listen,” he starts, “Honestly, I really don’t give a shit about your job. I just want to make sure that you’re okay. You scared me this morning,” he finished off with a whisper, looking down with his eyebrow furrowed. I sigh.

 

“Levi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but I really need you to leave. I still need to take one more customer tonight so that I can pay my bills, okay? So unless you plan to fuck me tonight, I need to leave. I’ll talk to you later,” I reply quickly, trying to make him leave quickly, but also trying to keep a level of sincerity in my voice. He looks upset, but I really can’t worry about that now. I’m starting to feel a bit withdrawal-y too. He just nods, his face tinted a light shade of pink. I watch as he turns around and leaves. 

 

As soon as the door shuts, I rush over to to my vanity and open the bottom drawer. I dig around and pull out a little bag of my ketamine pills. _Shit I’m almost out. I just bought and entire bottle last week though…._ I shrug and take a pill. I rush over to the door and tell Hitch to send in another one.

 

“I just sent someone in less than ten minutes ago,” she replies.

 

“I wasn’t what he was looking for apparently,” I reply. She just nods. It’s happened before. A customer took on look at me after my performance and decided I didn’t full fill their expectations. I sit down on the bed and wait for the door to open. 

 

The next guy that Hitch sends in doesn’t look too intimidating. I put on an innocent face and ask: “What can I do for you?” He starts to blush and starts mumbling. I lean forward a little bit to hear what he’s saying. I can’t make any of it out, so I say: “Calm down, I’m not gonna judge you. There’s no need to be nervous.” I half hope the guy decides to just walk out, but I need to pay my bills, and I’m also curious as to what he wants to do.He takes a deep breath and starts to talk again, slower this time. 

 

“I-I want to t-try, uh, BDSM…” he stutters, a little louder this time. I nod a little a bit. He’s new to this, so he could either be really gentle or really rough. I hope for the latter after the night I’ve had. 

 

“Sub or Dom?” I ask. He just looks confused. I roll my eyes. “Do you want to be submissive or dominant?” He stops and looks down for a second and thinks. 

 

“Dominant.” He replies, trying to sound confident. I nod and tell him that everything he might want to use is in the closet. He nods and walks over, inspecting the inside. He pulls out ropes and a gag. I gulp. He walks over and kind of just stands at the foot of the bed, staring at me uncomfortably. I chuckle slightly. Before we go any further I make sure he has enough money with him to pay for my services. Once I decide that it’s enough, I say:

 

“Okay then, how do want me, sir?” I say, taking on my usual submissive persona. He gulps loudly, his eyes filled with lust. 

 

“On your stomach, ass in the air, grab the headboard,” he says, suddenly sounding a lot more confident. I nod and do and he says, taking off my clothes first. He ties my hands the head board with the rope and puts the thin piece of cloth in my mouth and ties it behind my head. I let out a little moan and he sighs: “You look so pretty.” 

 

“Thank you, sir,” I moan as best as I can through the cloth. I put my cheek on the bed and close my eyes. I can feel the ketamine kicking in. The tension in my body starts to fade, and I can’t help but smile. 

 

“Are you okay?” The man asks with a concerned tone in his voice. I nod and tell him to continue. He reaches up and runs his hands down my back. When he gets to about the middle, he uses his nails. I moan as he scratches me hard enough to leave lines down my back. My face is bright red and I feel my cock starting to harden. My head feels light and fuzzy, almost as if I’m swimming in a cloud.

 

I hear the telltale opening of a condom and the pump of my new lube pump that kind of looks like a soap dispenser. I feel his cock at my entrance, and I start to panic a little. He feels big, and he hasn’t stretched me. I try to tell him to stretch first, but between my drug induced haze and the gag, it just comes out in mumbles. I just hope that I’m still a little loose from earlier. 

 

I fell him start to slide in, and my heart sinks. It hurts. It hurts really bad. I try to relax my body to make it feel better, which helps slightly. I let out noises of pain, which he seems to like, letting out a low groan each time. He slides in slowly, which helps in the stretch process a little. 

 

When he’s fully in, he pauses for a moment. “Are you okay?” He asks. I can’t decide whether to laugh or cry. I can’t say no, because then I run the risk of upsetting him and loosing a customer. I nod yes, but try to mumble a request through the gag. He seems to get that I’m trying to say something, so he takes the cloth out of my mouth.

 

“More lube…” I pant. He turns brighter red, if possible. Nodding, he reaches of and gets three more pumps of lube. It’s almost spilling out of his hand. I almost laugh. At least I’ll be in less pain. He pulls almost all the way out, and then rubs the lube on the visible parts. After that, he slowly slides back in. Thrusts in and out slowly for a few minutes, trying to be gentle. Eventually, the pain fades away. 

 

I let my moans get more needy, because I’m getting tired and would really rather go home right now. He seems to take my moans as an opportunity to slam in and out of me hard and fast. He doesn’t seem to care about my pleasure at this point, which I’m used to by now. I let my mind go blank, closing my eyes and trying to make the time go quicker. I can feel the ropes starting to burn my wrists. He pants loudly, and I can tell that he’s getting close. I almost sigh with relief. I just want to go to bed. 

 

After a few more minutes, he finishes into the condoms. He leans over and places his head on my back. He seems like he’s about to fall asleep, so I wiggle a bit to get him to sit up. He gets the message and sets to untie my wrists. 

 

Once I’m untied, I walk over to my vanity and put lotion on my burnt wrists. The man watches and seems sort of guilty. I’m still half hard, but I pretend not to notice. He is still very red in the face, and I hold back a laugh. He’s still blushing even after he’s had his dick in my ass. I let out a little chuckle, but then suddenly stop when I’m shocked with a new piece of information. “You know, this was my first time with a guy, so I was a little nervous.” It was his first time with a guy… that explains so much. I decide to give him a little advice.

 

“Would you mind if I advised you a little bit? I won’t if you don’t want me to…” I say, a little concerned because he might get mad. He looks surprised, but then nods. I breathe in deeply, trying to figure out where to start. “When you’re with a guy…you need to do a little…preparation… beforehand. Just to make sure that it doesn’t hurt.”

 

“What do you mean?” He asked, clearly confused.

 

“Well…um… you need to stretch your partner out before fucking them. Like… finger them. If you don’t, then they could be in a lot of pain and possibly get injured. And lube. Lots of lube,” I say, watching his face turn bright red at the mention of fingering a guy in the ass. Then, he looks confused. 

 

“But… I didn’t…uh…prepare you.” He looks scared for a second. “Did I hurt you?! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were in pain?” He looks sad almost. I could laugh. He really is innocent. 

 

“I’m a prostitute. I’m not allowed to say no, especially when I’m not working for myself. My job is to please the customer no matter what they want. As long as my life isn’t in danger, I have to do it. If I say no, or anything along those lines, I run the risk of the customer getting mad and then I don’t get paid,” I explain, my voice going quiet. He looks like he could cry. I shake my head slightly at him. 

 

“That’s awful…I’m sorry. I’ll pay you the full price. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.” He pulls out his wallet and pulls out a large sum of money, almost too much. I don’t say anything though. I need the money, and half of it goes to my boss. He shakily hands me they money, obviously scared of hurting me more. He’s being too kind. It’s my job to please him, let him use me like a toy. He shouldn’t feel bad. 

 

“Thank you, sir,” is all I can say. He nods, and then leaves the room. I sit on the bed and sigh. Four customers, and I didn’t cum once. I’m really fucking horny, but I kinda just want to go home. I’m too exhausted to jack off, let alone take another customer. 

 

My last dose of ket wore off, so I pop another pill before getting dressed and exiting the room. I decide to get a shot before leaving, so I walk up to the bar and ordering a shot of vodka. While waiting, someone walks up beside me, and I don’t know whether to be surprised or angry. Levi is standing next to me. Better yet, the ket is kicking in, so I don’t really feel like being angry. My muscles are loosening up, and my judgement is fading. _He looks so cute right now. He’s so short._ I giggle as I make eye contact with him. _He looks so sad. He needs a hug._ I decide to lean in and wrap my arms around him, pulling his head into my shoulder. He stiffens under my embrace, but I really couldn’t care less right now. _He’s so warm and cuddly._ I giggle again. He tries to pull away, but I hold him tighter.

 

“Eren,” he says, “are you okay? You’re acting strange.” He manages to pull away, and looks into my eyes. No doubt my pupils are dilated to the size of the fucking moon. My shot appears in front of me, so I take it from the bartender and down it quickly. Levi looks on in disapproval. “Eren… are you high?” He asks. Normally, I’d be scared or upset, but he looks so cute with that frown that I just end up letting out a little squeal. He sighs and says: “Alright, I’m taking you home,” he grabs my arm and leads me out of the building. I continue to giggle as he drags me along. He stops once we get to his car, pushing me against it. In my drug hazed mind, what he said held no weight, and it wasn’t until later, when I was at home a few days later, that I realized the true meaning behind his words. He said to me: “Eren, we need to stop meeting in situations like this. Every time I see you, you’re either all bruised and beaten, or this time, high off your ass. I know you don’t understand what I mean now, but I really want to help you. I can’t tell you why, but I’m drawn to you for some reason. I don’t think even I know why. I really want to find out why… why I feel like I have a purpose when you’re with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did any of you catch my reference?? I'm trash


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi Im sorry for the delay. Kim Jong-hyun's death really fucked me up.  
> If you catch my reference to a different kpop star in here I applaud you. I love kpop im trash.

Eren POV

I wake up in a strange room with a pounding in my head. The walls are a medium gray color. I’m a little confused because I don’t normally sleep over when I do house calls. I sit up and realize there is a person sleeping next to me.  I lean over to see the persons face, but it’s cover by the comforter. All I can see is his hair. It’s short and black, styled with an undercu- _What?! Levi?! Did I sleep with him last night?_ The last thing I can remember is taking a couple pills… I reach over and poke his shoulder.

 

“Hey...Levi,” I whisper. He stirs a little and opens his eyes slightly. He squints a little, then his eyes go wide, and he sits up really quickly and grabs my arm. I flinch violently and bow my head instinctively. I feel myself shaking badly. _Fuck… It’s not dad. It’s not dad. It’s not dad… But what if he’s like dad? Will he punish me too?_

 

“-ren?”

 

 _How mad is he? How bad will it be this time?_ I feel my vision going blurry. My chest is starting to hurt. _I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!! Please I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to upset you! Please don’t hurt me! I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean it!_

 

“-en?!”

 

All of a sudden, everything goes black.

* * *

 

When I wake up, all I see is white, and it hurts my eyes. I squint and groan, trying to move away from the source. I turn over and shove my face into the pillow.

 

“Eren?” I hear someone say softly in a deep, yet soothing, voice. I turn my head to see who it is. It’s Levi. He looks awful. There are black circles around his eyes. He looks pale...too pale. His skin is almost translucent.

 

“Levi? What wrong? Are you okay? You don’t look good…” I say, my voice scratchy. I cough a little. His eyes widen, and he hands me a glass of water. I drink it all in one go.

 

He looks uncomfortable. “Is everything okay Levi?” I asks. He looks at me incredulously.

 

“Eren… Do you realize where you are?” he asks. I look around. I’m in a bed with weird rails on the side. The room is small and the curtains are pulled shut. It’s not until I hear a beeping from beside me, the mask on my face, and feel the tell tale sting of an IV in my arm that I know where I am.

 

“A hospital? Why am I here?” I ask. He sighs, and has a look of guilt on his face. The look worries me a little. I can’t help but feel like it wasn’t his fault though.

 

“I don’t really understand it myself,” he whispers.

 

“I'm so so sorry for whatever I did, though. You up and poked me on the arm, and when I saw you I was startled, so I instinctively grabbed your arm. You flinched and started breathing really fast and panicking. I didn't know what you do. You turned blue, Eren, then you passed out. I was terrified… I thought I hurt you…” he rambles, getting quiet at the end, the guilty look on his face getting more prominent.  “The doctor said you had a really bad panic attack...you kept apologizing and begging me not to hurt you…”

 

I look down, taking the information in. _They've never been this bad before…._ I try to remember what happened, but can’t. I can only guess that I had some sort of reaction to him grabbing me all of a sudden. _God I wish I wasn't such a fuck up, then dad wouldn't hit me and this wouldn't of happened._

 

“Eren,” he says, grabbing my attention. “Did something happen to you? Is something going on right now? Is it your clients? Are they not treating you right? Is it your boss? Has he been punishing you for something?”

 

I force a chuckle, “No, Levi. None of that is happening. I'm fine. I promise.” He opens his mouth to protest, but get cuts off when the door opens, and a man in a white lab coat with a clipboard walks in. He has really light skin and he’s really….short. Not as short as Levi though. I don't think anyone can be shorter than him… I let out a small chuckle, pulling a confused look from Levi, but I shake my head.

 

“Ah! Mr. Jaeger! You're awake. How are you feeling?” He asks. I read his name tag: Dr. Min. _Huh. Doesn't sound Japanese…_

 

“I'm doing okay. When can I go?” I ask, ready to leave.

 

“Ready to leave so soon, huh? I'm sad to say I can't let you go just yet. I need to have a conversation with you…” He turns and looks at Levi. His eyes widen, but he gets up nevertheless, and walks out of the room quickly, shutting the door behind him. I start to get nervous, and its evident to the doctor that I am is well due to the heart rate monitor picking up speed. “Calm down, Eren. Don't be too worried. I just have to ask you a few routine questions.” I calm down a bit.

 

“Right,” he starts. “Now, I am a little concerned about the severity of your panic attack, and what was described to me pertaining to the things you were saying. Eren, I was also informed by the nurse that you are covered in big nasty bruises. My question may make you uncomfortable, but I have to ask. Is your boyfriend hurting you, Eren? Hitting you? Forcing you to do anything you didn't want to do?” My eyes widen. _Boyfriend? He must be referring to Levi… Maybe that's the reason they let him back here, he said he was my boyfriend. I guess that counts as family._  

 

“What?! No no no! Levi would never hurt me! I'm just really clumsy and fall off the bed sometimes. I bruise easy too! Promise!” I don't want Levi to get in trouble for something thats completely my stupid ass’s (and my clients) fault. He looks at me, unconvinced, and I know that I just used the go to excuse to protect an abuser, but I guess most of its true. He nods and writes in my chart.

 

“Okay… If you are sure… You know that if you tell me now, he won't ever be able to hurt you again.” _Fuck he’s persistent._  

 

“I promise he’s not hurting me,” I respond. He just sighs and nods. He walks over to the door and lets Levi back in. Levi looks at me, silently asking if I'm okay. I nod, doing my best to reassure him.

“Just some questions about your medical history now. Have you been in the hospital before?”  I nod. “Why?”

 

“Broken arm and I needed stitches on my face and back. Fell out of a tree.” _Arm stepped on, bottle shattered over my head, belt used to whip my back. Passed out from pain. Armin found me when he came to pick something up after dad left. Told him I fell and dragged myself inside._

 

“Anything else?”

 

“Alcohol poisoning. Got too drunk one night at a party.” _Dad caught me drinking and made me drink an entire bottle of tequila._

 

He looks at me funny again. It’s starting to get unnerving. “Is that it?” I nod, and he writes in my chart again. He knocks on the door to signal to Levi that he can come back in. He silently enters the room and sits down. Dr. Min looks back to me. “Okay...now I just have to get your insurance information. Then you'll be all set.” I feel my heart stop. _Fuck fuck fuck what am I gonna do? I don't have any health insurance. I'll just have to pick up extra shifts at the bar… Yeah…_ I look up and am glad no one seems to notice my inner turmoil.

 

Dr. Min looks at me expectantly, but I just shake my head. “I don't have health insurance. Just send the bill to my house and I'll pay it off eventually,” I say. Doctor Min frowns and furrows his eyebrows but nods anyway. Levi goes pale.

 

“Send it to my place. I'll take care of the bill,” Levi suddenly says to Doctor Min.

 

“What Levi, no! You don't have to do that for me I can pay it off!” I protest.

 

“It's fine Eren. I've got it.” He says. I try to respond, but he gives me a look telling me not to. Doctor Min looks back and forth between us.

 

“I'll send it to Mr. Ackerman’s address.”

 

I don't like it, but I agree anyways. _I have a lot of explaining to do when we are alone._

* * *

 

Levi takes me back to his place once im released. The car ride is deadly silent. Levi doesn't seem mad, but rather really sad. _Fuck. It's all my fault. He has been spending his time with a fuck up like me and it's finally getting to him. Everytime we meet i make him worry or end up doing something irrational. I wish I never met him so that his life would be dragged down by the likes of me. I should be dea-_

 

“Eren,” he says, snapping me out of my thoughts. I snap my head up and look him in the eye for a second before looking back down. “Stop thinking so hard you'll get an aneurysm.” We are sitting in his living room. I’m in the couch nursing a cup of tea while Levi sits in the chair next to me, watching.

 

“Im sorry. I'm causing you so much trouble. You really don't have to pay my bills. I can do it. Ill just pick up an extra shift or….three… Until I page them off. I look back up at him and he looks pissed. “L-Levi?”

 

“Eren. I'm doing this because I want to help you. You shouldn't have to think about how many more people you have to fucking _sleep with_ to pay your doctors bills. Everytime I see you,  you are covered in a fuck ton of new bruises. They don't treat you right… I hate it.” I look down. I feel so fucking guilty.

 

“Take me home, Levi. I need to go home.”

 

He simply nods.

 

If only he knew the full truth...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Im back. I just want to say that I cried while writing this chapter. I feel like a bad human for doing this to Eren. But yeah. As always be careful as you read. Trigger Warning: graphic violence
> 
> Character count: 19,127

 

**Eren POV**

 

The entire car ride was silent. Not a peep was heard from either of us. The awkward feeling in the air only grew as the trip progressed. Levi hadn’t turned on any music for some reason. I think it’s a rule that you turn on the music when you get in the car with someone you just had an awkward encounter with. I stared at my lap the whole trip, fidgeting with my fingers. I wanted to say something to him, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know what I would say. I pulled out my phone and started playing a game to distract myself. I had to stack the ice cream scoops really high while avoiding the vegetables. I got pretty high until I lost my last life. I let out a frustrated sigh as I turned my phone of and stared out the window.

Levi’s GPS said we only had five minutes until he reached my house, but it was actually about twenty minutes. I gave him Armin’s address instead of my own. I don’t want him to see my house, let alone my father if he either shows up or comes out of the house. 

A few minutes later, we pull up in front of Armin’s house. I silently climbed out of the car and turned around to look at Levi. We made really awkward eye contact for a few seconds before I mumbled out a “thank you” before walking away. I walk around to the backyard, not actually planning to go inside the house. Armin’s parents are kind, but the one thing they hate is when people show up unannounced.

I wait until I hear Levi drive away to walk back out. I sigh and cross the street. Its a twenty minute drive to my house purely for the lack of side roads. I cut through backyards, bending down, and making sure I don’t get caught. A man was on his back porch, but luckily he didn’t see me walk through his yard. It is really dark now. I weave in and out of houses for about five minutes until I reach my backyard. I sigh and walk up the porch to the back door. I didn’t lock it before I left the last time I was home, and my father doesn’t use the back door, so I know its open.I turn the doorknob and walk in, being as silent as I can. Im not sure if my father is home tonight, as his schedule is sort of finicky. I carefully stalk throughout the house, checking the living room and even daring to open his door slightly to see if he’s home. When I deem the house safe, I sigh and walk freely, not bothering to tip toe anymore. I decide that I want to play the piano, so I walk down into the basement. I avoid eye contact with the piano as long as possible, as I know that I will get emotional when I see it. 

Eventually, I look up at it. The coating glimmered in the moon light, reflecting light. It looked like it was glowing. My mom used to say that when we die, a piece of us is left behind. Not in a “you can feel my presence” way, but in a odd physical way. Like a plant that grows strong and resists decay, or a flower that seems to grow alone in a place that no one would expect. I believe my mother resides in the piano. It glows and has an aura just like my mother. I can’t help but smile when I look at it. She was like that. When she walked into a room, it lit up. It seemed that the laughter got louder and the people became happier. I miss her. 

After I finish my thoughts, I walk over to the piano and sit down. The chair was starting to get a little worn down from all the years of use, as were the keys and pedals. I pressed middle C and sighed. The piano has always made sadness pierce its way through my heart, well, only since mom died. Playing the piano makes me feel closer to her though, so I guess it is worth it. 

I place my fingers on the keys and start playing randomly as I don’t know the exact song I want to play yet. But then it hits me. I smile sadly and start playing a song that mom would play all the time. Beethoven’s Tempest Sonata. Even though the song was full of grief and despair, my mom loved it. I got used to hearing it when I came home everyday. I start out slow and soft, barely pressing the keys. The notes fade out quickly and don’t travel far. An aura in the color of black surrounds me. The song starts to pick up, but it still carries the sadness with it as it goes.I can’t hear anything else besides the piano. The notes get louder and louder as I presser harder and more aggressively on the keys, almost as if I am taking my anger out on them. I feel tears fall down my cheeks again. They pour out of my eyes like a waterfall. Am I sobbing? I am…

I get so enraptured in the music that I don’t hear the front door open and close, along with the heavy footsteps that follow. The sound of the basement door closing and feet coming down the stairs angrily escapes me. I only know that I have been caught when I am ripped away from the piano and thrown onto the ground. I have no time to react before heavy footfalls starts abusing me. I hear my father’s voice screaming at me, but I cannot tell what he is saying. The ringing in my head from the impact of the hard cement basement floor drowns out what he is saying. I feel myself yelling for him to stop, begging, but it’s like I have no control over my body.Pain is everywhere. A few, if not all of my ribs are broken. My face must look terrible. I cant feel hands. My hands….how am I supposed to play piano if I can’t feel my hands? No… 

I feel something wet dripping down my face. Am I crying? Maybe, but this isn’t coming from my eyes. Its red… am I bleeding. My eyes close and I feel the kicking and punching continue until, finally, the world goes black, and everything around me disappears. 

* * *

I wake up, but I don’t know how much later. It’s not sunny anymore though. The light downstairs is off, and the sun has gone away. I tried to move, but pain tears through my body when I do. I still can’t feel my hands, my vision is blurry, and the ringing in my ears is louder than ever. I need help. Help me….

I somehow managed to pull out my phone, but I start to feel myself slip into unconsciousness as I get to my contacts. My head is swimming, and its wet… my hair is soaked and caked in blood… As the world fades to black, I managed to call a random number. I don’t know who it is, but hopefully they will come….

A little while later, I come to for just a moment. There is yelling all around me and I see people in bright jackets along my body. “-ake! Stay with us Mr. Jaeger! Don’t fall as-” I don’t get to hear the rest of the sentence before I black out once again. 

The next time I wake up, a blinding light invades my vision. I try to cry out, but I can’t. _Something is down my throat? Oh my god it hurts. It hurts so bad! Get it out get it out get it out I cant breathe I cant breathe I can’t bre-_ I hear someone telling me to calm down, and I see people dressed in blue above me doing something. All of a sudden, I feel the thing move and come out of my throat. As soon as it’s out I start coughing and choking. My lungs hurt so fucking bad. A cup of water is placed in front of me and I grab it greedily, eager to, hopefully, ease some of the pain in my throat. The water is gone quickly, and I gasp for air as I pull the cup away. I didn’t realize that I had closed my eyes again, so when I opened them, I saw a bunch of nurses standing around me. I look around with a confused look on my face, and it must show because one of the nurses started talking to me. It took me a moment to process what she was saying, but I eventually got it. “Mr. Jaeger you’re in the hospital again. You were here earlier, but you’ve come back. An ambulance was called. Your condition was very fragile. You needed surgery Mr. Jaeger” the nurse explained. _Im in the hospital? Why did she say again? Wait…. Who called the ambulance?_ I must’ve been speaking out loud, either that or the nurse read my mind, because she answers my question. “Your friends called the ambulance when the found you Mr. Jaeger. Do you remember anything?” Friends? What friends? I have friends? I look around the room until my eyes settle on a mop of blonde hair. Oh right, Armin. Next to him I see another face, but I can’t quite register who it is. I have no idea who this man is. He has black hair and black eyes. I point to him. “Who is he? I’ve never met him. Is he a doctor or something?” I ask the nurse. This time, however, it’s Armin who speaks up.

“He said his name is Levi and that you know each other from work.” I shake my head. “You called him tonight. He said that you didn’t answer, and he was kind of worried because you were in the hospital earlier tonight with him. He won’t tell me why though. He showed up at my door asking where you were. He said he dropped you off at my house and said it was yours.” I shake my head. I look at the man again. He looks sad almost, but his expression is dead. I can’t remember who he is. _Why is he here?_

“I- Im sorry. I don’t remember any of that,” I explain, looking down at my lap. The nurse speaks up. 

“What is the last thing you remember, Mr. Jaeger?” She asks. I think about it for a while before speaking up.

“The last thing I remember is…walking to school with Jean, my boyfriend. It was a rainy day and he held my hand. He had an umbrella, but it was only big enough for one of us, so he let me use it. He got soaked.” I smile softly, happy at the memory. But when I look up, Armin is staring at me with a scared look on his face. 

“E-Eren… That was almost a year and a half ago…You and Jean broke up later that month because of your….problem.” Armin explains shakily. _What? No… Jean and I are still together… A year and a half ago? That’s impossible. It happened just yesterday…._

The nurse speaks up again, “Eren.. Can you tell me todays date please?” I look at her, still confused, but then I speak up.”

“It is September 16, 2016” I said, very sure of myself, but everyone in the room shakes their heads, The nurse speaks up again.

“No, Mr. Jaeger. It is February 29, 2018.” She said. I feel myself psychically jump. 

“What? No! It can’t be! It is September 16, 2016 and I have a date with Jean later today!” I exclaim. I move to get out of the bed, but pain goes through my entire body. The nurses, even the ones who have chosen to remain silent, move to hold me back.

“Don’t try to get up, sir. You’ll tear your stitches.” The nurse explains. I stop moving, and angrily sit back. 

“What stitches?” I ask.

“You had to have surgery, Mr. Jaeger. You had an impressive 14 broken ribs, and you needed to have plates put in you to hold them together. Your hands, however, were a harder feat. The bones were shattered. The doctors put plates in your hands, but the chances of you gaining full usage back are small. You also had a large laceration on your scalp, which was the cause of your severe blood loss. We stapled it back together. There was a small fracture on your skull, but it wasn’t deep enough or big enough for the doctors to surgically repair. When he comes in to talk to you later, he will explain more in detail.” My brain is swimming with all the new information. I lift up my hands to my face, but am met with large, dark green casts. I stare at them, unable to express any reaction. I put them down and stare blankly around the room. I can tell everyone is waiting for me to show any type of emotion, but I can’t. I make eye contact with everyone, trying to read their emotions. I make eye contact with the man again, and he looks about as emotionless as I feel that I look. I stare blankly at him for a moment before looking at the nurse. 

“What happened?” I ask, still unsure of how I got in this situation. Armin speaks up.

“Levi got a call from you, you didn’t answer. He came to my house and knocked on the door asking for you. I said you weren’t there. He looked confused and said that you lived here. I told him you didn’t. I showed him where you lived. We went inside and the inside was trashed. Broken bottles were everywhere. We looked around for you for a while but we couldn’t find you. Your father wasn’t home. We eventually came across the basement door, which was wide open. We almost didn’t see you, but then Levi luckily saw your hair. We rushed downstairs and…oh god Eren it was awful,” Armin had managed to keep his composure up until that moment. Tears stream out of his eyes as he continues. “There was b-blood all over the floor, and you w-were lying in the m-middle of it. I-it didn’t look like you were b-breathing.. your hands were…i-i cant even describe… your hair was soaked and so was your f-face. T-the piano….i-its destroyed. T-there was wood everywhere…. One piece… h-had blood all over it…” Armin bursts out in tears and loud sobs. He can’t speak. Still, I feel nothing. No emotion. One of the nurses walks over to Armin and ushers him out of the room. Levi is looking down at the floor. I look straight forward again, my expression blank. 

“Are you alright, sir? I know all of this is a lot to handle” the nurse asks. I nod.

“Yeah, Im perfectly fine. I just cant wait to go home and take a nap. Speaking of which, when can I leave?” I ask. The nurse looks at me incredulously. 

“Are you sure? You went through an exponential amount of trauma. The doctor asked if you were hit by a bus when you came in….” She exclaimed. I nodded.

“I’m fine. When can I leave?” I ask, getting a little annoyed. _I just want to fucking go home. I don’t care about all this shit._

“We are keeping you until you are healed and able to get out of bed. We don’t know if you can…walk…yet. You were beaten up pretty bad. The police are going to come in and question you to see if you can remember who did this to you.” She explains. Even in my state of amnesia, I still know who did this to me. Its always been him. I don’t know if I’m going to press charges. I sigh and agree.

“Fine. Let me talk to the doctor first. I want to talk to him.” I say. The nurse nods and leaves the room to get the doctor. The parade of nurses follow her out, leaving me and ‘Levi’ alone. I look at him and he is staring at me. Its unsettling. “Who the fuck are you and what do you want?” I ask. He sighs and starts to talk. 

“You obviously don’t remember me, but let me say something. I asked you a while ago why I felt like I had a purpose when I was with you, and you didn’t answer. Before that, however, I asked why when were met you were always in some sort of trouble or hurt. Again, we meet. This time you were on the floor. You were nearly dead, Eren. I don’t understand how someone could have such bad luck. You are the most fucked up person, besides myself, that I have ever met, and yet you sit here unmoving, like you don’t even care. What has been happening to you? For how long has this been going on that you don’t even react when getting bad news. What the fuck have people done to you?” He ends. He seems exasperated, like this is the most he’s ever said at once. I don’t know him, but he seems to know me. He seems scared. My reply sends a shockwave through his body. 

“Nothing that I don’t deserve” I have no idea what has happened to me in the past year and a half, but it must be a lot to make this guy react the way he did. He flinches at my response and looks like he wants to throw up. “If you’re going to puke don’t do it in here. I don’t want to smell it.” I say, a dead look in my eyes. He goes to respond, but the doctor walks in before he can. 

“Ah! Hello Eren! I wont bother asking how you are because I imagine it isn’t good.” He shines a light in my eyes and frowns slightly. “Pupils not reactive” he says to the nurse, and she scribbles in my chart. I scowl at the light because it was painful. He grabs my head and tilts it down to look at the top. I assume he’s looking at either the stitches or staples. I’m not sure which one it is. He lets go and nods. “Head lac is looking good. No signs of infection” the nurse scribbles again. “Eren can I lift your shirt?” He asks cautiously and I shrug and hold my arms out. He lifts my shirt and I hear a gasp from both the nurse and Levi. I scowl and look down. My ribs are clearly visible, and my entire torso is black and blue. It looks as if i’ve been dipped in paint. I sigh. “Eren do you remember the last time you ate? I noticed you lacked in body weight during surgery. Its severe enough that you are considered severely underweight. Almost cost you your life.” The doctor asks. I shake my head and reply snarkily.

“Well apparently I cant remember the last year and a half so what makes you think I remember the last time that I ate?” The doctor sighs and shakes his head. 

“Right… the amnesia. There is some brain damage, but it should heal. Your memories should return as your brain repairs itself.” He explains. 

“The nurse said I was going to have to stay for a while.” I replied, completely disregarding what the doctor said. He nodded and said the same thing the nurse did. I have to stay until I’m well enough to walk, if I still can. I groan and throw my head back. The doctor shakes his head and walks out. 

“Let me know if you need anything. The police are coming in now.” He says as he walks out the door. Replacing him are three police officers. One of them talks to Levi for a moment. He nods, gets up, and walks out of the room as well. I look to the officers. One of them speaks up.

“Mr. Jaeger? My name is Officer Hyojong and these are Officers Jinho and Chaeyoung.” He points to them respectively as he says their names. I look at them for a second before looking back at Officer Hyojong. He pulls out a notebook and a pen. “Im going to ask you a few questions about what happened. First, do you remember who did this to you?” I shake my head and explain that I know who did it, but that I couldn’t remember the past year and a half. I made sure he knew that I knew exactly who it was. He nodded. “Could you tell me who you think it was? We wont be able to do much until we get the DNA to prove it though” I look at him for a moment. 

“You’re going to figure it out whether or not I tell you who it was aren’t you?” The officer nodded. I sighed and told him it was my father. Im guessing my face isn’t the prettiest right now because the officer that Hyojong named Chaeyoung fast walked out of the room when she heard that it was my father. I chuckled and both of the remaining officers looked at me with shocked faces. “I’m so used to reactions like that by now that its funny whenever it happens.”I explain. The officers look at me sadly. 

“Is there a history of abuse?” Hyojong asked. I nod. “and how long has this been going on?” He asked.

“Since my mother died.” I reply. He asks when she died. “When I was eight,” I say indifferently. He looks even sadder if thats possible. 

“Im so sorry that this has been happening to you,” he says. I growl.

“I don't want your fucking pity, officer. I don’t need it. I’m fine. Now get out and leave me the hell alone!” I yell at him. He nods and motions for the other officer to follow him out. Once they are gone, the nurse comes back in and asks if I need anything. “I need for you to get out and tell everyone to leave me alone. Im taking a fucking nap.” I growl. She jumps and rushes out, turning the light off on her way out. I sigh and lay down, pulling the awful bedsheets over me, closing my eyes, and let the release of darkness wash over me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god im so sorry
> 
> Now for my new ending note:
> 
> Thank you for reading! If you wish to contact me or give plot suggestions (as not to ruin the plot for everyone else if i decide to use it) or just talk in general, please email me at parkjem7@gmail.com (i only use it for this purpose) or message me on tumblr: park-jem.tumblr.com
> 
> Im always available to talk.
> 
> Also my favorite candle burned out and i'm really sad


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